Why I Left.

1219 The inner fibers of the soul are amazing little things in themselves. We have no idea where they are, and we barely see them, but these fibers teach us to go in the directions we have always been intended to go.
Interesting, eh?

Unbeknownst to my parental (namely, my mother), I had one incredibly smart-slash-risky gamble which involves me and my day job: I am now not involved with my day job. My father–being the pragmatist that he is–did not bother scolding me with things like, “bakit wala kang lilipatan” or “anong gagawin mo, uupo ka lang sa bahay?” Rather, he looked at me with an expression of wonder and amusement on his face. Wonder, perhaps because he knows I lack the balls to do something like this; and amusement, that I grew a pair and did something like this.
And ever since the day after Tax Day, I’ve been at home, studying up on what could be.

If I could give a piece of advice to the universe right now, it would be simple: work in Sales at least once. I’ve read about that before, and I’ve come to see why. Sales people are (unfortunately) looked down upon half the time they are seen, and thank goodness that hasn’t happened to me in my stint. Selling something is good practice in selling one’s self in the near future; heck, we do it every day. I’m writing this blog post in my trusty laptop, and here you are grazing your eyeballs across your screens, reading up on me. Sino ba naman ako, most especially if you are a reader and we haven’t meet each other, ever. Bottomline: you’re reading up on me. And there we go.

Sales teaches a lot of lessons you can’t get anywhere else. Just as in life, there are just some things we have to experience for ourselves. Rejection. Betrayal. Distrust. Praise. Commendations. The joy of closing a deal. The high when someone tells you “you did a good job,” or even “you’re the person to beat.” It was one hell of a rollercoaster ride of lessons, most of which my wide-eyed self was willing to embark on.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned was the *magic* of audacity. Audacity is a double-edged sword, a miracle drug: use it sparingly, and it will get you places. Overdoze on audacity and you may rub the world the wrong way. So far, so good. All this time I’ve been wondering how the “successful” made it, and the answer was right in my face all this time. They told the universe exactly what it was they wanted, and there it was: they had it.

But Ina, why did you really leave?
I left for reasons rational (for my standards). My body was ready to give up on me since February, not being able to handle the four-hour daily commute. I did endure the commute with very little complaint, but it’s another thing altogether when your body fails you. The mind can push the body, but sometimes even our limbs take over and collapse. Or get run over on, or just decide to fall off vans. (True story.) All else was because of the money (I’m spending US$120 for fare alone, per month). And the rest I would rather keep under lock and key, and only have a handful of people know.

Where we go from here is an adventure. I’ve been looking forward to becoming an illustrator or a graphic designer, whichever way it does. I’d love to draw for a living, though, and I’m hoping it is humanly possible to do so. Who knows; I could be wrong.

Then again, what if I could be right, right?

Spit it and shake it out

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